Nicolas Cage Won't Eat Animals That Have Dirty Sex

Kick-Ass actor and huge comic book fan Nicolas Cage has revealed that he will only eat animals who mate in a dignified fashion, a dietary preference which rules out pigs, because they apparently have dirty sex too.

According to the Guardian, the Oscar-winning actor is happy to eat fish or poultry because their love lives are more decorous.  Gfest can only assume they only use the missionary position.


Big Daddy went on to explain that "I actually choose the way I eat according to the way animals have sex. I think fish are very dignified with sex. So are birds.  But pigs, not so much. So I don't eat pig meat or things like that. I eat fish and fowl."

Dude is weird.